An addict’s net cast wide…” HBO Mini Series A Night Of, August 28, 2016
In five simple words, the above quote manages to capture the essence of the disease of addiction. It is a family disease, not unlike any other chronic disorder. It requires family work. It is a two-sided problem. But for some reason, an addiction diagnosis, like many mental health disorders, often carries with it elements of shame and guilt.
With any health diagnosis one can experience an array of emotions: shock, terror, fear, resentment, confusion...and so the story goes. How we learn of a family member’s addiction diagnosis will vary. One might be standing in a hospital emergency department, one could receive the phone call in the middle of the night from a jail, one may find himself at a parent-teacher conference listening to someone describe their child’s unexplained behavior. Every parent has their own story. But most parents won’t share their story after receiving a final diagnosis of addiction. They will pull inward, feeling guilt, shame and fear of the unknown.
So, what steps should parents pursue to start the family’s recovery?
First and foremost, the family must understand and accept they are not alone. An estimated 21 to 25 million Americans struggle with substance abuse. Indeed, last month the U.S. Surgeon General reported that one in seven Americans struggle with substance abuse. To put that number in perspective, if you live in a neighborhood of 100 people, then 14-15 could be dealing with addiction. And each of those 15 have a story they are afraid to share.
Secondly, get the facts. If you have a family primary care physician, seek their advice. If your employer offers an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), then determine what programs might be available for your loved one.
Third, take a deep breath, have a family meeting and make a plan. If planning doesn’t come easy, then perhaps you need an interventionist to guide you in this process.
Fourth, if an intensive primary care substance abuse treatment program or intensive outpatient treatment program are in order, then review your health insurance policy and move forward.
Finally, take the first step and start to care for yourself; learn to set your boundaries. Seek out an Al-Anon meeting and understand the three “C’s”: You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it. Work your own program of recovery and allow your loved one to work their program.
Dr. Phil helps one young man take his first step
This past November Dr. Phil viewers were allowed to meet one young man and his parents. If you happened to tune-in, you may have been shocked to hear their story. But if you have a family member with an addiction diagnosis...then you may have been empathetic and hopeful that this family will find recovery. Here is how Dr. Phil guided the family to consider PACE Recovery Center’s multi-pronged approach to addiction and co-occurring disorders. In his own words, Dr. Phil explained:
There is an organization called PACE Recovery Center and it is a gender specific, extended care program for young men struggling with chemical dependency and behavioral health issues, such as immaturity, the inability to modulate, regulate, predict their behavior. Whether it is neurological, psychological, or whatever. The PACE approach utilizes a model of integrating philosophies and research and clinical practices from medical, psychiatric, psychological, social, familial and self-help communities. I mean this is a very integrated model."
If you are having trouble viewing the video, you can see it here.
Family recovery is possible…
PACE Recovery Center specializes in treating young men. We have a core philosophy to offer a place where men can delve into their underlying issues, which have caused them to resort to substance use and self-defeating behaviors. We understand that a positive attitude changes everything.
Parents are encouraged to attend family therapy with their loved ones at PACE to address how addiction has impacted family members. This therapy allows family members to leave behind the guilt and shame; they are encouraged to share their story. Working with PACE Therapists and counselors, family members can learn about the disease of addiction, acquire tools to end enabling or co-dependency, and develop new healthy communication patterns in sobriety.
Yes, the story goes on...
PACE Recovery Center Announces CARF Three Year Accreditation
On May 29, 2015, PACE Recovery Center was honored to receive notification from CARF's Brian J. Boon, PhD, President/CEO that PACE Recovery Center has been accredited by CARF International for a period of three years. This accreditation is for the following PACE programs:
This achievement is an indication of your organization's dedication and commitment to improving the quality of the lives of the persons served. Services, personnel, and documentation clearly indicate an established pattern of practice excellence."
Learning more about CARF
The Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities(CARF) was founded in 1966 and "is an independent, nonprofit accrediting body whose mission is to promote the quality, value, and optimal outcomes of services through a consultative accreditation process and continuous improvement services that center on enhancing the lives of the persons served. Now known as CARF International, the accrediting body establishes consumer-focused standards to help organizations measure and improve the quality of their programs and services."
The importance of a three year accreditation
The PACE Recovery Center's treatment team brings decades of clinical expertise and personal experience dealing with addiction and co-occurring disorders. This accreditation decision represents the highest level of accreditation that can be awarded to an organization and shows PACE's substantial conformance to the CARF standards. We recognize that an organization receiving a Three-Year Accreditation has put itself through a rigorous peer review process. We have demonstrated to a team of surveyors during an on-site visit our commitment to offering programs and services that are measurable, accountable, and of the highest quality.
PACE Executive Director and Founder, Lenny Segal, says it best:
We are excited to have PACE Recovery Center achieve a three year CARF International accreditation. We will continue to offer our Clients, Families and Referents the highest level of care."
To learn more about our men's only extended care drug and alcohol treatment program and our intensive outpatient program you can contact us and be assured our PACE programs are built on the idea that by helping the client work on their underlying issues, they will be able to achieve long-term sobriety.
Remember at PACE a Positive Attitude Changes Everything.
Conference season comes to a close...
As with any industry, the addiction and recovery community has a conference season that allows treatment professionals the opportunity to meet their peers, learn about the new developments in addiction treatment and ongoing research projects. This past October PACE Recovery Center was pleased to be a Silver Sponsor for CeDAR's Gender Matters, Men Matter Conference. Lenny Segal, Executive Director and Founder of PACE, attended Gender Matters in Broomfield, Colorado, and had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know guest speaker Mic Hunter, Psy.D. We are pleased that Dr. Hunter wanted to share some of his articles with us and we, in turn on occasion as you see below, will publish Dr. Hunter's articles on our blog for our readers to enjoy.
Wabi Sabi Your Relationships
It isn’t often that a concept that has the power to alter relationships has a name that is fun to say. Wabi sabi (wobby sobby) is a Japanese term that is difficult to say without smiling that describes a profound way of viewing relationships with oneself, other people, and life in general. Richard Powell the author of Wabi Sabi Simple defined it as, “Accepting the world as imperfect, unfinished, and transient, and then going deeper and celebrating that reality.” An heirloom that has been passed down from generation to generation is prized not despite the signs of use it shows, but because of those marks. Nobody ever claimed Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan, or Lead Belly are great singers in the conventional sense of the word, but they are excellent singers from a wabi sabi viewpoint.To be wabi sabi in a relationship with another is more than tolerating that person’s imperfections, it is to find the good in those so-called defects. It is to find acceptance not despite the imperfections, but because of them. The Twelve Step program is an excellent example of wabi sabi in action. The new comer is accepted because of his or her powerlessness and unmanageability, those problems are the very ticket into the program. When someone introduces herself at an A.A. meeting with, “I’m Mary, and I’m an alcoholic,” and everyone responds, “Hi Mary,” that is wabi sabi.The 12 step Al-anon program is another example of wabi sabi. Members are taught to accept the fact that their loved ones have an illness, not to take the behavior associated with that affliction personally, and to respond with love. To be wabi sabi in a relationship with an alcoholic is to give up on trying to “fix” that person, which opens up more time and energy to be together with less conflict.Perhaps the most challenging relationship in which to practice wabi sabi is with oneself. Again the 12 Step program provides guidance. Step one suggests accepting one’s powerlessness and unmanageability, Step five encourages acceptance of one’s wrongs, and Step ten implies acceptance that one will continue to commit wrongs. These “defects of character,” and “shortcomings” are what made us who we are today. They are the psychological, emotional, and spiritual equivalent of the winkles, scars, and laugh-lines on our bodies. We will never be perfect humans, but we can be perfectly human. As Leonard Cohen croaked in his wabi sabi song Anthem, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light get in.”
About Mic Hunter, Psy.D.
Dr. Mic Hunter has held Minnesota licenses as a Psychologist, and Marriage and Family Therapist, and as an Alcohol and Drug Counselor. He has been sought out by the print and broadcast media for interviews over 150 times including Oprah, CNN, Newsweek, The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal. He has spoken to mental health professionals and the general public over 300 times in America, Mexico, Mongolia, and England. He has presented at the meetings of the American Association Of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex, and the American Psychological Association. He has been invited to give nine keynote addresses. He has served as a reviewer for The Journal of Child Sexual Abuse, The Journal of Men's Studies, The Journal of Interpersonal Violence, and Violence Against Women. He is a recipient of the Fay Honey Knopp Memorial Award, given by the National Organization on Male Sexual Victimization, "For recognition of his contributions to the field of male sexual victimization treatment and knowledge." In 2007 the Board of Directors of Male Survivor announced the creation of The Mic Hunter Award For Research Advances. Dr. Hunter, for whom the on-going award was named, became the first recipient. It was given to him for his, “ceaseless pursuit of knowledge about male sexual abuse in all its occurrences, of the eloquent dissemination of new knowledge in this area, and of the stimulation for further study and concern about revealing, treating and preventing male sexual abuse.” Mic Hunter, Psy.D. is the author of Conscious Contact: The 12 Steps As Prayer, and Back To The Source: The Spiritual Principles Of Jesus.
"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe." Anatole France
From the Catalina Mountains in the Sonoran Desert...
I would like to tell you about my dream. It is a dream born out of my personal recovery from substance abuse some 14 years ago. Not long after finding the gift of recovery I had the epiphany that I wanted to give others this gift and spend my life working with those struggling with substance abuse and co-occurring issues. I am often reminded of one of my favorite quotes, “Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” Sobriety allowed me to not only mend fences with my family and loved ones, but inspired me to continue my education in social work and business, achieving a Masters Degree in both Clinical Social Work and Business Administration. For ten years I was privileged to be part of an amazing clinical team at the nationally respected Cottonwood Tucson Treatment Program. It was serendipitous that I got sober at Cottonwood and would go on to work there as a primary therapist helping those who once walked in my shoes.
The snow capped Catalina Mountains in the Sonoran Desert, Tucson, AZ
Tucson was my home for many years, and it was there that I dared ask the question: "Why shouldn’t my dream of developing a new extended care program for men struggling with chemical dependency and behavioral issues become a reality?" As I’ve told my clients many times, “you’ll never find peace of mind until you follow your heart.” Then, as I thought more about my dream...I knew this dream could only come true by taking one step at a time.
The dream of PACE Recovery Center was built with collaborative effort...
Most things in life that are substantive and meaningful, like one’s own personal recovery, are a collaborative effort. In collaboration you can find growth and inspiration. And so, I realized that I would have to reach out to many others to set my dream in motion. Here's a brief history of how the dream of PACE Recovery Center became reality:
Sharing my dream with a few close friends was the first step. I received encouragement to set out on my journey.
Decidingon an appropriate geographical location would allow me to provide an environment that would enhance recovery and the healthy lifestyle that I had envisioned. I focused on Orange County, California. More specifically the idyllic seaside community of Huntington Beach. Huntington Beach is a picturesque community with a strong recovery fellowship to draw upon. Interestingly, Huntington Beach has a clear view of Santa Catalina Island, so I felt at home. Of equal importance, I was able to find a comfortable, safe home where men would be able to continue their journey of lifelong recovery.
Selecting a respected consultant who possesses a proven record in program development for behavioral healthcare and addiction treatment program was vital. Over the years I have had the privileged of knowing and working closely with many addiction professionals, so again I shared my dream and sought counsel of one such addiction professional. Together, he helped me create what I had conceptualized, eventually turning my vision into the reality that would become PACE.
Choosing a name for my recovery center was truly born from how I try to live my life every day, which is with a positive attitude. I knew from my own recovery that a Positive Attitude Changes Everything. So the name PACE Recovery Center seemed apropos.
Conceptualizing a logo that would be easily recognized and would also make a strong, simple statement. Remember, "Keep it Simple." I will admit that this process took a bit of time. That said, I am very happy with the logo I chose to symbolize the strength and serenity PACE Recovery Center offers.
Invitingour associates and friends to share in our dream of PACE Recovery Center via FACEBOOK, we launched our Facebook page on June 21, 2012.
Engaging and developing a treatment team is one of the most important steps. Our staff brings decades of clinical expertise and personal recovery experience. More importantly, they shared in my dream and in the philosophy that would define our program.
Licensing PACE Recovery Center was accomplished by working with the California Department of Alcohol and Drug Programs (ADP). The licensing procedure allowed us to better understand what is expected from the State and to modify and finely tune my vision. I am happy to say, that we passed our licensing inspection with absolutely no deficiencies (which is rare in the licensing process) and on August 23, 2012, we received our license from the State of California which I proudly display at PACE and on our website.
Designing an intuitive website for PACE Recovery is an evolving adventure. Website design is a vitally important process. Unlike hard-copy marketing pieces, you can have an idea, modify the website, and then see it live in minutes. We are proud to launch our ever evolving PACE website today and we hope you will visit and take the tour.
So follow my dream, our dream...
As we prepare to open PACE Recovery Center on September 17th, we feel it is only fitting that PACE will open during National Recovery Month. We will join with the countless others who celebrate their recovery, along with their families and friends, who honor their daily commitment. People can and do recover. Dreams can and do come true.
Here's to dreams...we hope you will stay in touch
As part of our effort to stay in touch and to continue to share our dream, today we are launching our PACE blog. We will use our blog to keep you abreast of news at PACE, news about the disease of addiction, and news about strength, hope and recovery. We hope you will subscribe to our blog; it is easy to do. Just enter your email address in the subscription box on top right margin and remember to verify your subscription when you receive your verification email.